Remembering Ray Wishart
By Sharon Michalik
Hundreds came out to mourn Ray Wishart’s death in late August at a standing-room-only memorial at the A. Crawford Mosley
High School gymnasium and at the service at St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church where he served as a deacon. Thousands mourned across the country and in other countries as the beloved educator, who taught at Mosley High School for 40 years before retiring in June 2016, was memorialized. Ray Wishart was killed about a mile from his home while riding his brand-new custom bicycle just three days after school began on his first year of retirement.
Ray and I had a rocky beginning to our 16-year-rock-solid-friendship but nothing prepared me for the task of writing his obituary or speaking at his memorial. Nothing except the constant thread of humor that was the foundation of our friendship and continues to hold his family together in the face of this tragedy. “You know, he didn’t even like you at the beginning,” his daughter Rebekah matter-of-factly shared with me as I was working on his obituary at the kitchen counter of the home in Lynn Haven that he literally built with his own hands. This was not a surprise. I remember clearly, in the beginning the feeling was mutual.
When I joined the faculty at A. Crawford Mosley High School in 2000 as a brash, know-it-all, brand-new outsider with all of the answers to questions nobody asked me, Ray stood out as the veteran educator with all of the experience and no patience for people like me. It was an instantaneous clash of “old school” versus “new school.”
Over time, however, I discovered that Ray’s ratty old office couch was a great place to seek what we lovingly called “wishdom,” because he had answers to all of the questions I finally understood to ask. I discovered that Ray had the qualifications to be a school administrator but wanted “none of that paperwork nonsense.” The gruff exterior was really a façade for a man with the heart of a child who lived his Biblical principles to his last breath. I became a fervent student in Ray’s class of life.
For his entire career, Wishart was an unconventional teacher. He dressed for work in jeans and a tie every day, a weird millennial-meets-hippie-meets-casual-Friday look that worked for him, and happily overlooked rules that were “stupid.” He determined the definition of stupid and applied it fairly liberally to local, state, and federal regulations. Sporting a thick silver pony tail throughout his teaching career, he waited until retirement to cut it. “Most folks grow their hair out when they retire, of course it would be more like me to do just the opposite,” he posted on Facebook in June. That was Ray in a nutshell; always keep ‘em guessing, never do the expected or the boring.
Ray was a study of opposites. When most teachers were celebrating their students’ Advanced Placement exam pass rates, and he had many of his own to honor, Ray emailed me in 2015 lamenting the situation of 25 (out of almost 200) who had not quite mastered the exam. “Unfortunately, 25 (students) got a 2,” he wrote. “I do worry about that group of students and wonder what little thing I could’ve said or done that would’ve pushed them over the top. That is my goal for this next year.” With one year to go before retirement, after 39 years of serving students, Ray wasn’t done pushing for perfection.
To know “Wish” was to know a most irreverently reverent person. He dedicated much of his free time as a deacon to St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church but also threw himself into his Pub Theology outreach – essentially Bible Study offered at a local restaurant where those interested could gather over a beer to discuss the Bible. He wanted to make church approachable. He could have a deep conversation about his role models in the Bible and the significance of biblical stories but he could just as easily share a ridiculous joke, scoff at the latest legislation, tell you how he really felt about a political figure or comment on just about any story of local, state, or national significance. He had opinions and he shared them!
His last sermon, focusing on the book “Sky Lantern” by Matt Mikalatos, was a perfect example of Ray’s opinions on life, his love for God, for his fellow man and, most importantly, his unending devotion to his family. His sermons were always a surprise to his family and this one was no different. While preaching about the book’s message, the powerful bond between fathers and daughters, Ray interrupted his sermon to speak directly to his daughter Rebekah who was in the audience. Tearing up, he told her in front of the entire congregation how much he loved her and repeated some of the words of the author directly to her. Never one to a miss a laugh, he quickly quipped however, “remind me to tell these things to your sister later as well.” Ray’s other daughter Rachelle and her husband and two children live in Orlando.
Above all of the roles that he played in our community, Ray was always a family man first. He was a devoted husband to his wife Diane and became battalion commander as she went to war with breast cancer. He routinely went above and beyond as a husband and relished going with Diane to her regular pedicure and manicure appointments where he also happily availed himself of the services. He was proud to stand behind, and beside, “my girls.”
On his last day in the classroom Ray posted a photo on Facebook noting how he would miss the students, but not necessarily the daily grind of being a teacher trying to follow the state’s ever-changing rules. He posted regularly on Facebook through the summer about how retirement was working well for him, about his bike rides and his morning coffee breaks and his almost-endless list of honey-do projects. In fact, he posted so many “this is my retirement bliss” photos that I offered to unfriend him on Facebook because they were making me jealous.
Ray loved life and the people he met, whether for a minute or a lifetime. They knew that he loved them too. His favorite phrase, shared often with everyone, was “Love God. Love one another,” and that’s how he lived. Ray was a happy husband, a devoted “daddio” and the kind of “grand-daddio” we all wish we had. He was the church deacon who could always be counted on to bring compassion and understanding to difficult situations and the teacher who ensured his students learned common sense and discernment above standards and lessons. He was a passionate hobbyist, from kayaking to photography and, most recently, he picked up cycling with an unrivaled enthusiasm. Ray appreciated quality craft beer and good food and bike rides in the woods. He loved Disney with the passion of a five-year-old and recently embraced the role of travel agent, planning romantic cruises with his wife, including one for 2018 that he booked on the morning of his accident. Quite succinctly, he loved life.
On his last day of school in June of 2016, Ray posted on Facebook: “I really can’t think of anyone that has been happier with a career than I have been at Mosley, but I am ready for that next chapter to begin … soon … real soon …”
This isn’t the chapter that any of us envisioned for Wish but I can honestly say, without hesitation, he was one of the finest human beings I will ever have the honor of calling my friend. He will be sorely missed and will be forever remembered as a teacher, mentor, church deacon, creator, artist, iconic photographer, and for his unique personality.
Mikalatos’ book, and Ray’s last sermon, focus on men taking care of fatherless daughters in our communities. Ray, let me promise you, this community will never forget you. Rebekah and Rachelle will never lose sight of their precious “daddio” in those who will step forward to continue to take care of your family.
[author image=”https://panamacityliving.com/media/2016/11/Sharon-Michalik.png” ]Sharon Michalik is the Executive Director of Human Resources for Bay District Schools. She was the founding Executive Director of Bay County Teen Court Inc. Her parents moved to Bay County from England when she was a teenager which fostered unique viewpoints. She obtained bachelor’s and master’s degrees from Florida State University. Traveling and discovering new epicurean delights is one of her favorite activities. She, her husband John and their four children enjoy everything that the west end of Panama City Beach has to offer. [/author]