Topsail Hill Preserve State Park: New Year’s Camp Out
By Nick and Kayla May, Photography by Kathleen Horton
I’m not quite sure what gave us the optimism to brave a grim weather forecast and go camping during the coldest, rainiest weekend of the year. We saw the radar. But how often does weather in Northwest Florida actually do what it’s supposed to do? Even Kayla (who prefers to call herself a realist) was more than eager1 to break in the new nine-person Wenzel Kodiak tent we got for Christmas.
Topsail Hill Preserve State Park is about an hour west of Panama City. It’s a spacious, wooded campground with accommodations for RVs, as well as tent sleepers. We love it, because it’s a quick drive and it’s close to both the beach and civilization but still feels isolated. Topsail is clean and equipped with everything you could need: water, electricity, a fire ring, clean bathrooms, and warm showers. There’s even a place to wash/dry clothes!2
It was raining when we arrived at our site. No big deal. We anticipated as much and made sure to pack boots and ponchos to wear while searching for the perfect place to hang a monstrous tarp that would cover our dwelling. At first, things looked promising. We worked together to tie the tarp to a number of nearby trees, being sure to leave a slight incline for runoff. We assured ourselves the tarp was merely a precautionary measure. We highly doubted it would actually serve any purpose other than keeping the sun off our faces.3
Once our cover was in place, stretched crookedly across the gravel camping pad like a slice of cheese on a sloppy Baconator, we began unpacking the tent. Understand, in my test run on Christmas morning, I had this two-room behemoth standing proud in our front yard within minutes. Minutes!4 For some reason, however, this day was a completely different story. Poles were falling, stakes were coming loose, and walls were collapsing under the weight of the wet tarp (which didn’t even cover the front door). Before long, Kayla and I were soaked and hangry. Yes, it was still raining. Harder now. And the digs were already growing personal.
“One of us should do the tent,” I said. “The other should start unloading the car.” 5 I was having flashbacks to our camping trip in the Pacific Northwest when I failed to secure proper accommodations before dark. I needed a take-charge moment, lest my pride be dashed once more.
After a brief moment of dripping cold discouragement, we rallied and decided to start from square one. Together. In a matter of ten minutes, fueled by silent rage, we demolished all of our previous work, formulated a better, stronger, more efficient plan and constructed a watertight compound worthy of Poseidon’s praise.6
As night fell, I began the vain task of grilling hamburgers over a pile of dying coals beneath a crippled umbrella, as Kayla shined a flashlight on our frozen food. Even in the torrential downpour, something about the fire actually did boost our morale. Until the rain snuffed it out, that is. We finished the burgers on our camp stove and retreated to the tent to consume the meat ravenously and do our best to stay dry. Kayla popped a bottle of New Year’s champagne and spilled it everywhere. 7 I ate silently and tried to appear like I finally had it all together.
Kayla’s Commentary
1 I’m not sure if I was “more than eager” to go camping. I was probably just excited to stage pictures of the experience for Instagram a nasty habit I’ve since broken. I do like to remember where I was and what I was doing at the turn of a year. Somehow I knew this was going to be one for the books…
2 Did we know that at the time? We should have dried our clothes (and maybe slept) in the laundry house.
3 Nick was being optimistic about the rain. I call that idealistic. I was watching dark clouds roll in from a distance Nick calls that negativity. If it looks like clouds, sounds like thunder, and you’re wet … I’d say it’s real.
4 I didn’t actually witness this feat because I was still inside, stuffing my face with five different kinds of pie. I’m pretty sure at least three generations of May men worked on the construction of the tent that day.
5 Translation: “You’re getting in the way!”
6 Keep in mind, starting over was a brave decision in the midst of heavy rain, thunder, and lightning. This was the point we should have called it, but neither of us wanted to start 2016 as quitters.
7 It’s okay. It was cheap champagne.
The damage wasn’t bad. The only casualty being a mostly empty trash bag with a large hole in it.
That evening it rained nonstop. Our tent inevitably leaked (as any tent would), but we managed to stay dry and fairly warm. We fell asleep at around eight o’clock, waking periodically throughout the night whenever our tarp would unleash any water that had collected near the lowest edge. That, coupled with ungodly high winds – you get the picture.
The next morning, we got up early with hopes that the storm had subsided. We cooked corned beef hash from a can and drank pour-over coffee by using an automotive funnel.9 We hung out close to the tent, with the exception of a quick swing in our borrowed ENO hammocks.
It was while we sat eating a lunch of cold cuts and Pringles that we had another scare. I had removed a few smoldering pieces of wood from the fire ring, shortly before eating.The damp logs had refused to catch, and another shower was imminent.10 Frustrated with my inability to set a substantial fire to wet wood, I did what any red-blooded American man would do and brought the logs to rest safely on the picnic table beneath our tarp to keep them as dry as possible.11 Kayla seemed even more alarmed, as she surveyed the scene from her spot near the window. “The picnic table is on fire!” I clamored out of the tent once again to do battle with the elements, and all I could think was ‘how’?12 Carrying the flaming logs, one-by-one, back to the fire ring, we resolved it was time to cheat and visit my brother and his family a block over in the warmth of their home. We played Super Mario 3 and died repeatedly, mere seconds from defeating King Koopa and saving the Princess.13 We couldn’t even win as pixelated plumbers …
We returned to the park just in time to enjoy some campfire spaghetti and a few s’mores. The rain had finally stopped for good, but we only traded one evil for another. The temperature dropped twenty degrees and we lost any sensation in some of our extremities. By nine o’ clock, we were back in bed, like the old souls that we are. This time, however, we were fully layered, beneath sheets, sleeping bags, and quilts. Plural. It didn’t help. I’m Southern to the core, and that core had turned to ice. Kayla seemed to do alright.14
The final morning of our excursion, all we could think about was getting warm and getting home. We figured we must have been crazy to endure even as much as we did. In fact, two separate parties came the night before, pitched their camps in the slots adjacent to us and never returned. Smart folks. I don’t imagine anyone in their right mind would’ve stayed.
Still, there was something about our own tenacity that made us feel good. I’ll spare you the gruesome details, but our 2016 New Year’s excursion was a suiting end to a pretty crummy 2015. We’re still fans of camping. We’re most certainly fans of Topsail. Was it unwise to brave the risk of pneumonia, sleep deprivation, animal attacks, starvation, and blazing picnic table fires all for the sake of an unorthodox New Year’s Eve? Probably. Would I trade a second of it for the world? Not a chance.15
8 You should have seen the raccoon’s face. He was very offended.
9 It’s a normal kitchen funnel, but it worked! I don’t go anywhere without coffee.
10 I think it had already started sprinkling.
11 Back inside our tent, after a few minutes, I heard another strange noise. “I think the raccoon is back!” I gasped and looked out the window…
12 I thought that, too. You seem to have so much trouble when you’re trying to start a fire, babe.
13 Actually, I didn’t play. Nick and his brother played. I slept.
14 I like to think I adapt fairly well, but anytime so much as a finger of mine slipped out from under the covers, I feared it might break off.
15 Me neither. 🙂
About Topsail Hill Preserve State Park
Topsail Hill Preserve State Park is located at 7525 West Scenic Highway 30A, just off Highway 98, in Santa Rosa Beach. The park is open every day from 8:00 a.m. until sundown and features 1,640 acres of beaches, lakes, woodlands and wetlands which are home to many different varieties of wildlife. There is RV camping available, as well as tent camping, bungalow, and cabin rentals and daily use. Reservations are recommended for campers and can be made over the phone or at floridastateparks.reserveamerica.com. Campsites include water, electricity, and are within close proximity to laundry and bathing facilities.
